I know it's been a while and I apologise for my unexplained absence. It was something completely unplanned and I didn't expect to happen, but at the same time, saw it coming. Basically, I'd been feeling pretty unhappy and miserable with my life and I was afraid to make the leap of faith into changing that. At the end of last year, I pretended to be happy in a relationship that actually made me sad and the demise of it finally made me realise that I needed to make big changes in my life. While it was short-lived and he broke up with me, I'm grateful that I'm now free and that I haven't wasted any more time with a guy I wouldn't have ended up having a future with. I became a completely different person and forgot who I was as an individual as I was feeling so down. I needed to refocus on myself, what's important to me, my values and what I want for my future. People are not responsible for your happiness and your future, YOU are.
I had lost all motivation for the things I love doing, including blogging, but I've taken this time out to do some soul searching, reexamine things and make a list of goals I plan to achieve this year. With the help of my cute Muse Diary from MochiThings, I'm going to sort my life out. I want to be a better version of myself and be proud of who I am, so that I can welcome good, new people into my life. I want to focus on myself and the people who only bring happiness into my life. It's not right to hold on to things out of fear. I'm sick of being scared and this year, I owe it to myself to get out there and give it my all for myself and no one else.
2012 ended up being both and best and worst year of my life. Apart from my house being robbed and a failed relationship, it was mostly the best though. I fulfilled two of my biggest dreams of seeing my all time favourite band, Röyksopp, live (as well as other awesome bands including Neon Indian, New Order, Florence + The Machine and Sigur Rós) and travelling to the most beautiful place on Earth, Paris. I went on my first overseas trip to Japan, Bali with my family, and travelled around Europe with my gorgeous best friend and some of the most incredible people I met on Contiki. I experienced a lot and I've definitely learnt a hell of a lot. This year, I want to grow up and finally do the things I've been putting off for far too long.
So yes, I'm back and it finally feels good again. I've had so many blog posts lined up for ages, but I'm feeling motivated and if blogging makes me happy, then I'm going to continue doing it and not let anything get in the way of that again.
Lastly, if any of you girls are going through a tough time with a break up, heartache or are confused about a boy, I recommend giving Baggage Reclaim a read. I honestly feel like this website was written just for me and I've gained so much insight and knowledge, as well as strength and wisdom. The future still terrifies me, but I'm not going to let my fears hold me back anymore as I want to be in a much better place not only for myself, but to welcome a new, happy and healthy relationship one day.
Here's to 2013!